“You won’t settle.” Period. These were the words spoken to me by my fiancé when I embarked on this journey. He knew how unhappy I had been with how things were going. He also knew that I was wanting a change in a MAJOR way after having our daughter. So when he told me this at the beginning of this crazy faith journey, I just looked at him with this blank stare. Because yeah, it sounds good right? To believe that you can stick it out and persevere when the going gets tougher (we surpassed tough). But in reality, the moment something seems off kilter or too hard, we run in the direction of a safety net. We throw out that whole “never settle” mantra and do anything to keep us afloat. Not only have I been tempted, but I’ve been told to do just that. To find something, anything to bring in some money to make sure our household was good.
In the midst of this spiritual journey, I’ve taken a new perspective on my relationship. I’m learning that when my fiancé and I make a decision as a team, we have to stick to our guns and support our teammate no matter what. Sure, I could have gone out and got a part time job in retail or picked up a seasonal position at a call center. But that’s not what he and I agreed on. And most importantly, it wasn’t what God told us to do. See, my fiancé was supporting me because he wants me to be happy. He wants me to live as much of a carefree life that we can create right now. And I totally respect that. I get that. I admire that. But even more, he respected my faith & the fact I am practicing obedience. He’s also a Jesus believer so when I told him that I felt my spirit saying “move” or “stay still” he respected that.
After I got a callback for an interview recently, Marlon reminded me again that “We aren’t settling.” That was his way of saying, even if this job doesn’t work out, don’t get discouraged. Don’t beat myself up. Don’t second guess what I’m doing. Because I’m doing what God wants me to do. So when people tell me that I should be doing more, my partner, my teammate is telling me I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. That type of support is so crucial in times like these. When the struggle gets real and we’re just grateful to have our bills paid. To know I have that type of partner was heartwarming.
Peace to y’all this Wednesday evening.