Have you ever got a push or a break from someone unexpectedly? Or has someone ever poured into you at random without them really knowing you or what you’ve been going through? Don’t you just LOVE moments like those!? I know I do. So often we go about our day, concentrating on our own issues that we often miss the opportunity to uplift our fellow brothers and sisters. A little encouragement goes a long way a lot of times. And who are we to hold onto that word God is trying to speak through us? Well while this is usually the point where I start inserting inspiration and high praise, I have to be 100% honest with y’all. I let these opportunities pass by everyday because I feel unworthy or too small for my words to make a difference.
What’s that you say? Imposter syndrome at its finest? Whew, that imposter syndrome has its way of sneaking up on you. I’ve been so busy saying that I want to do this or do that. Saying how I can be better and I know there’s more for me to do. Even more so, I found myself doubting my ability to make it happen. How could little old me be this big personality that captures the hearts of many? Yes I know God can and will use anyone but that doesn’t make it less terrifying when you’re trying to figure out the how. But you see, I was taught something about God a few years ago. To keep it simple – the “how” isn’t my problem. That’s God’s issue. Not mine. It’s his plan I’m wanting to see through. It’s his kingdom I want to grow. It’s his children I want to bring to him. These things are bigger than me so there’s just no way I can know the how. What I can do is be obedient, listen, and act on the “what”. But that “what” seems so impossible. It seems so beyond me that I have no clue where to even start. That’s that imposter syndrome bullblues. I’m manifesting, praying, and listening for God’s instruction but even the simplest of tasks seem to be too much for me right now. It as if I’m just not the one meant to see it through to the end.
So what am I to do? Earlier I mentioned people pouring into me unexpectedly. These past couple of weeks have been hard but I got some much needed love from an old family friend. Much like she did back in 2009 when I first got to college, she came at me with advice and tips to take this new journey to the next level. She was able to ask the questions I had been asking myself low key but the difference was she demanded an answer. When I’m in my thoughts alone, I find more doubts than answers. How about you? As I listened to her read me line for line, she also reminded to me to let go of that imposter syndrome. She reminded me that I CAN be everything & I CAN achieve every single thing through God.
I’m not saying simply hearing someone tell you that you got this will make a person get up and run a marathon. No. I am saying that hearing those encouraging words got my mind ready to tackle the tasks for that week. I had her words playing in my head all day every day and I kept telling myself to take small steps. I created my IG page. I created the Facebook page. I did some research on different necessary tools to make this happen. And I kid you not, at this moment as I am sitting here typing this up, I just realized that here is where the being obedient lies. God sent someone to pour into me. Someone unexpected and because of that act of love I made progress. *real tears*
Come through God!